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Land of Plenty (Kevin Walker)

In days of old a glimpse of stocking was all it took

To get the boys a - rocking, magazine or a certain book

Nowadays there are other ways, so head on down to the pond

Where ordinary Joes are dipping their toes and heaven knows any thing goes


So put your worm on the line and hope you get a bite

Cast your rod in the mirky waters, reel them in tonight

There’s plenty more fish...... from a minnow to a WHALE

Let us just pray to God.......  that you live to tell the tale


When you are chased for your life, chased for your life by a reader's wife

A readers wife, a readers wife

And her husband in the wardrobe with a Stanley knife


There’s a raven-haired maiden with a shaven haven

Or a neatly waxed Brazilian, who’s one in a million

Brunette or blonde, horizontal  fun

The time has come for snorkelling but you might just have to run


Big fish little fish cardboard box, they all seem the same

But at the end of the day will they remember your name?

The chance of threesome with a gruesome twosome could not fail to entice

With a stroke of luck you might squirm off the hook or you might just pay the price


Angry eyes were peeping, from in between the coats

I was just completing my culminating strokes

The cougar roared, and from that door a demon was invoked

I began retreating, in fear of flashing steel

Running through deserted streets with a Batman at my heels

He took one slash that caused a gash ignoring frequent squeals


After trying to evade a caped crusader

his stamina proved key

And that my friends is where it ends with a trip to A&E

Out There   (Walker/Bowie)


Lie down!

Lie down!

Lie down!



You go to sleep one day, but you never die

Planet earth was, oh so blue

Suddenly a crack appeared in the sky

And a hand reached down to you

Is it the same on the other side?

Please say it isn’t true



I thought you died alone, a long time ago

When the kids had killed the man

Dress my friends up just for show

So well hung and snow white tan

Are you still out there waiting in the sky?

It's such a long way down



Like a sad song, where the hero never dies

He gazes to the shore

Heaven lies between your marbled thighs

Falls wanking to the floor

Are you still shooting your pie up in the sky?

Ain’t got the power anymore

No, I ain’t got the power

No, I ain’t got the power….

Antipathy For The Devil (Kevin Walker)


All the days of my life

As I walk down the lane

Filled with trouble and strife

Killed by heartache and pain

The devil he finds work

For idle thumbs to do

Get thee behind me Satan

To the back of the queue



Get thee behind me Satan

Oh get thee behind me



All the days of my life

Tryin’ to stick to that lane

Wind cuts my face like a knife

The loss and the gain

Yield not to temptation

Dark passions subdue

Get thee behind me Satan

Get to the back of the queue



Get thee behind me Satan

Oh get thee behind me



All the days of my life

Road soon come to an end

But who knows what’s lurkin’

Up on around the bend?

And if that old demon should slip into view

There’s just one place to send him, that’s right

To the back of the queue, do you hear me ?

To the back of the queue


Get thee behind me Satan

Oh get thee behind me



Some Kinda Wonderful (Kevin Walker)

What else can I do?

What more can I say?

There’s no one here to talk to

Or listen anyway

East River breezes whisper your name

But you’re gone, you’re gone……


Last night I dreamt

I went to Manderley

I really never meant

To stand in your way

Manhattan winters melt into Spring

Now you’re gone,  you’re gone…. away


Such an enchanting story,

Straight out of Jackanory

How I cried

Oh, how I cried

So true, I have gone

And there’s no turning back


Love is too weak

A word for what I feel

Hope you find what you seek

Tell the fake from the real

And In the meantime

We can pretend

That things are sublime

In a world without end

And though you have gone

You will always be

Some kinda wonderful to me

No use in us pretending

There was a happy ending

Oh I cried

How I cried

What we had together

I’ll treasure it forever

Some kinda wonderful


My Bootiful Laundrette (Kevin Walker)


A man from Sudan who ran a washateria

Showed me footage from CCTV

A sultry lady from somewhere like Algeria

Was slyly plundered of her lingerie


As we viewed the television monitor,

His behaviour was a real disgrace

Saw him press his eye against the dryer

A kaleidoscope of nylon and lace


Welcome to the beautiful

My bootiful laundrette


Some might say it was committing a sin

But her baby doll nighty had him all in a spin

Some might say there is nothing more obscene

Than snatching dirty washing that was in for a clean

Chorus 2

Welcome to my beautiful

My bootiful launderette


Some might say “that he should have been confined”

When showed video evidence he had to toe the line

They came to an arrangement that suits them both fine

He is now duty manager with his payment in kind


He is dutiful at the beautiful

My bootiful laundrette

Step into, it’s all on view

At the beautiful

My bootiful laundrette

Out From The Blue (Kevin Walker)


I get knocked down when I’m winning

Spinning around, feeling dizzy

I hit the ground when I’m falling

When I’m falling on through


Seen better days then again I’ve seen worse

Time for a change got to shake off this curse

I’m just hoping that you, will come out from the blue

Verse 2

I get knocked up when I’m sinning

Running around keeping busy

Hitting the bricks, so appalling

That I’m falling for you

Chorus 2

Stranger to truth always living a lie

Looking for things that money cannot buy

Just hoping that you, will come out from the blue

V. 3

Get woken up when I’m dreaming

Stroked by your velvet glove

Searching for life’s inner meaning

Stoked by the fires of love

Chorus 3

Knew you’d be there if I just held my nerve

Wanting much more than we both deserve

Still believing that you, would come out from the blue

Krazy Daze (Andy Roberts & Kevin Walker)


Came down on a Monday

Come up smiling Tuesday morning

Signing on a Wednesday

Just to party on a Saturday night

They thought we woz krazy, well that’s maybe

Coz we fought on a Saturday night

People said we woz krazy

Well that’s maybe, alright


Day by day our life was taken

Living Monday through to Friday

All the dreams that were forsaken

Just to party on a Saturday night

People said we were lazy, well that’s maybe

Power cuts and a three day week

People said we woz crazy

Well that’s maybe just a cheek


We were bombed off our titz

In the days of the blitz

We were bombed of our titz

In the days of the glitz


Now there’s never any fun day

Every day seems like a Sunday

We’re still longing for the old days

When we partied on a Saturday night

People thought we woz crazy

Caught a fever on a Saturday night

People said we woz crazy

Well then maybe, they were right


We were bombed off our titz

In the days of the blitz

We were bombed of our titz

In the days of the glitz

Finale (Kevin Walker)

V 1. 

Seasons rolling by

In the blinking of your eye

It’s the end of the game with no extra time

No one to run to,

No mountain, left to climb

Still the earth keeps on turning


Stop the world I want to get on

Stop the world I want to get on

I want to get on

I want to get on

I want to get on

 V 2.

Race is almost won

No more turning back the tide

Countdown has begun

Now or never, you decide

No one to run to,

Nowhere left to hide

Faster still earth keeps whirring


Stop the world I want to get on

Stop the world I want to get on

I want to get on

I want to get on

I want to get on

Pussyfooting (Kevin Walker)

Coming and going, I’m tip-toeing, tippety toeing around you

When I enter in the room, dissipating the gloom

Then I’ll seize you in my claws, nocturnally yours

Tip-toeing , tip, tip toeing, I’m twinkle toeing around you

Creeping round your bed, I’ll inhabit your head

From dusk till dawn, I will make you wish you were never born

Tip-toeing, tip, tip toeing, I’m pussyfooting around you

Touch me and it’s clear, I will surely disappear

All is not what it seems, I’m an illusionary spirit of your dreams

Book of Cheer (Kevin Walker/anonymous)

Words, true inspiration, from a book

Words, my one salvation


If cruel fate bestows

A life not yet sublime

Cast away your woes

Tell the world that your feeling prime


Keep on going, never give up

Keep on going, never give up

Keep on going, never give up


When you tumble from the top

If the weather kills your crop

When you're out of every dime

Being broke ain’t any crime

Remember the wise old words from the Book of Cheer


Though your hour is dark

Old black dog waiting at your door

No crock of gold beneath that rainbow

Grab some wings it is time to soar


The weight upon your shoulders

Makes it hard to face your fear

Need to be a little bolder

No more crying in your beer

Now is time to remember

The words from The Book of Cheer

Remember the words from the book of Cheer

The Girl From Lesser Nowhere (Kevin Walker)

V 1 .

Madeline, flirted briefly with the silver screen

Beauty Queen, making movies that are rarely seen

Where did all that beauty go?

Could have been the next Bardot…………

Pretty as her picture


Chorus 1

Legs that never seemed to end

With curves that drive you ‘round the bend

In a chauffeured limousine

Filled the room with lissom grace

Never really found her place or ever made the scene


V. 2

Madeline, in a mini – skirt of Crimpolene

Left her home when she was only seventeen

Made her beds then lay on them

Promised by so many men

The girl from lesser nowhere        


V. 3

Madeline, still a baby when she hit the scene

Wild child, fuelled by Pernod and amphetamine

Waiting for the phone to ring

She soon became the last big thing………….


Chorus 2

Legs that never seemed to end

With curves that drive you ‘round the bend

In a chauffeured limousine



Madeline, met a salesman from Aberdeen

Said “she had the nicest pair that he had ever seen"

She made the beds and spread her legs

She bore a son, the years flew by,  he soon was gone

Away from Lesser Nowhere


Chorus 3

Days that never seem to end

Ways that drive you ‘round the bend

So sad it seems the life I spend

And so I’m drinking to the past

Until the time I draw my last

Faraway in Lesser Nowhere

Known Not Wanted (Andy Roberts)


Got locked up for an illegal imperfection

Not too sure of all the ramifications

Whatever they may be, loose

I’m in the shit.........

V. 2

Scuffers running through my one-bedded mansion

Pray and hope to hit the motherlode

“Keep your hands off that son”, loose

“You’re in the shit”


Known not wanted you’re free to go

Known not wanted you’re free to fall in love again

Known not wanted you’re an innocent C

Please stay off the shit

V. 3

Just got home to roll a big fat mama

Throw a disc upon the radiogram

Leaning back, I got time for reflection

I’m in the clear


Known not wanted you’re free to go

Known not wanted you’re free to fall in love again

Known not wanted you’re an innocent C

Please son stay off the, please son stay off the, 

Please son stay off the shit!

Most Peculiar  (Roberts & Walker)


Bedrock Joe, carries cash in plastic bags

And boards a train, to nowhere in particular

Holding parties in his hat,

Sending out cosmic rays



In a most peculiar way

Travelling through the Westway

Three-legged dog’s in his way

With a person to the right

In the fading light


V. 2

Cindy Red, took some pills and lay in bed

To wash away, the thought of the child the nurse had taken

With a whole life left to live

Hiding out, disarray



Joe met Red, he felt the pain inside her head

They washed away the thoughts of their lives that had been taken

Having nothing left to lose

Ending it seemed okay

 V. 4

They fell into a most peculiar love

Stepping out of the shadows

Made themselves a life – well sort of

One in which their hope grows.

Nothing (Kevin Walker)


No day no night

No black no white

No wrong no right

No sun no rain

No pleasure no pain



What if in the end there was nothing?

What if there was nothing at all?

What if in the end there was no one?

What if there was no one to call?



No taste no smell

No heaven no hell

No sick no well   

No hope no fear

No having you near



No rich no poor

No less no more

No future no yore         

No freedom to choose

No time left to lose

The Call of The Game (Kevin Walker)


Way back when you could have been a contender

Instead of ending up a great pretender

Became a slave to stocking and suspender

Never to resist the call of the game

calling,, your calling, stop calling

calling stop calling me

 V. 2

In between the madness and obsession

There lies capacity for indiscretion

With a tendency for self - confession

nothing belongs to itself anymore


All the best years have been stolen

So funny how  it seems the mighty have fallen

A-ging limbs dis- proportionally swollen

For ever to persist the call of the game


Wearing a paper crown in your Kingdom

Now just a hostage in the Palace of Wisdom


There’s no point in constantly whining 

Every cloud has a silver lining



Some may choose to go

Where angels won't transgress

So few will ever know

The sweet smell of excess

Being a Man   (Kevin Walker)

Being a man ain't always easy

Cutting your teeth on all that's sleazy

Time to straighten out 

The Devil may have a shout 

He tries his very best just to appease me


Being a man ain't just a new thing

Human kind was barely dawning

When a Homo Sapien

Entered the race back then

Ate from the Tree of Life despite the warning

Being a man can be confusing

Knowing which sex you should be choosing

Sitting on the fence

Won't help in your defence 

In the battle of the sexes, someone's always losing

Gets tougher every day

Steve McQueen and Hemingway

Seems just like they've had their day

Being a man is getting rougher

Womans demands can make you suffer

Staring 'til you blink

Can drive a man to drink

What doesn't kill you always makes you tougher

Happy Ever After (Kevin Walker)


Happy ever after

Happy ever after

There's a light in you

And it shines so warm

Feels like sun on morning dew



Life was one big amble through the park

Now it's just a fumble in the dark


Took a turn for the worst and lost our way

Followed a sign to 'yesterday'


Seems like a path that never ends

Taking me back as it gently wends

Anything & Everything (Kevin Walker)

ve worked my fingers to the bone
Sent you filthy photos from my mobile phone
Recited from a book by Baudelaire
And even woven daisies in your pubic hair 

I've tried every trick in the book
I've tried every trick in the book
I've tried every trick in the book

Heard so many stories 'bout your friends   
"Karma Sutra, morning, noon, night and at weekends"
It's written all over your face

You’re giving me a disparaging look  


I've even tried to treat you rough
Seems no matter what I do it's never up to snuff
Created ambience in my boudoir
Dressed you like a femme fatale from a Swedish noir


Anything and everything,
Given it,  my very best shot,
Even tried to appeal to your soft spot 
Still no chance of winning The jackpot
Winning the jackpot
Winning the jackpot
Given it,  my very best shot,
Still no chance of winning The jackpot

Now it seems I'm through

You Made Me (Kevin Walker)

You made me feel like a kid on a swing

On a high from a dopamine spring

Just one of the things I liked about you


You made me a place

Where my  feelings can't hide

Another one of those things I liked about you


You opened a door, held the key to my soul,

Left me wanting some more

So many great things I loved about you


We threw the dice, gambled saccharine dreams

And paid the ultimate price

Never got used to living my life without you


Memories of Paris or Venice in the rain

Conjuring illusions of seeing you again 


You helped me soar... got too close to the sun

Fell back down to the floor

You made me laugh you made sing

You made me do almost everything


Never got used to living my life without you

Sweet Algorhythm (Roberts & Walker)


Living in a world not always what it seems.....Nightmare!

Sometimes there may be dreams, and nightmares

Love bomb the face on all your screens

Some say "I 'm ev-il" but that  just too extreme


Cream keeps rising to the top……..


Gotta  woman, don't need to know her name

The kinda  body to drive  men insane

Honey  trippin' me down memory lane

Move on over.... it's time to stake my claim


Cream keeps rising to the top, never gonna stop


Escape the ma-trix  kick that nine till five

Do some real hard things and you'll start to feel alive

Between the De-vil and the deep blue sea

They call me a "bad man"  they calling me a bad man


Friends and family are calling me out

"you can't say this", no you can't do that

They calling me a "bad man"

Holiday Love (Kevin Walker)

 Vocal Intro

She was my holiday love

She was my holiday love

She was my holiday love


Verse 1

Had a visit from a lassie from the posher parts of Glasgie

There wasn't much allowin' in that caravan in Towyn

My legs were turned to jelly at a Butlins in Pwllelli

Senorita el flagrante pedalo in Alicante



She was my holiday love

Fourteen days is never enough


Verse 2

May have been oh so much better with that beauty in Valetta

And the one I couldn't make her on beaches of Jamaica

When you meet a girl whose Thai you don't even have to try!



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